Eyes wide open!!

It's been quite a while,since we've been through;

still I'm lying in bed,thinking of you.

Thinking of days and times that are long gone;

still trying to understand what went wrong.

It's all like a bygone era, a space beatified in time;

when You n I were Us,when love was a bliss sublime.

We were pals,partners-in-crime,we laughed at things insane;

we loved this special bond of ours...But I guess it was all in vain.

U'd be there forever,or so I thought;

with no word or reason,you left me distraught.

I stood there numb with shock,while you walked away;

I pleaded,begged,beseeched...tried everything to make you stay.

And now that I'v cried you a river,I'v got no more tears to shed;

You've left me scarred and bruised,but I'd rather move on instead.

Though sometimes,I still wonder...were all the good times just a lie;

was it fate or a crude joke.....or hell,were you just being a guy.

My heart's broken beyond repair,but I'v learnt to live with pain;

I'v learnt a lot,all thanks to you...but will I ever learn to love again?

And that's when it hit me...........!!

Exams spell nightmare for most of us,including me......so obviously after getting done with my last exam of 3rd semester(just two days back),i heaved a HUGE sigh of relief....came back to my room,threw my books away,and had this intense urge to jump on my bed......!

Cut to half an hour later....i was sitting cross legged on d same bed,wondering what to do....! The whole hostel was quivering with post-exam excitement.Most of the girls were either packing,all geared up to go back to their natives,while some were out celebrating or shopping.

I'd been dreaming about this day since even before exams started.true. I had made a million plans about what I'll do once I'm done with exams.true. I mentally crossed off each day in the calendar.true. But now that that day was here.....i had this strange,uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.Something wasn't right.Something just wasn't right.

I got up and started pacing around the corridors,trying to figure out why i wasn't feeling happy,when i obviously should be.I had done reasonably well in my exams,I had a train to catch the next day,I'd be meeting my family and school friends after six months.....and the best part,I wouldn't have to worry about studying for the next 15 days!..I had so much to look forward to......and yet,i couldn't help feeling low. I pass the stairs where i was sitting just last night,studying for my math exam,curled up in a blanket and sipping my 5th cup of coffee.....

I go out in the garden,and look at the bare cloth line,which is usually hidden underneath an array of colours on normal days.Sorry dude,u'll have to do without company for the next 15 days...I notice that I'm shivering...strange.....Bangalore,even in the month of January is never this cold!...I decide to go indoors...I pass my friend's room,where she is busy packing...she's leaving for her hometown the very same night....I help her stuff some more clothes into her suitcase,which is already overflowing.Her sister is getting married in five days and she's glad she can be home for her big day.....after yapping for some time,she looks out of the window and says..."boy,I'm gonna miss this place Rash......!!"

AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME....... I'm gonna miss this place!!...I never thought I'd find myself saying this,but yeah,I'm gonna really miss this place.I can't believe its been an year and a half since I started living in a hostel.When I initially came here,I hated everything about it.I was really homesick,I missed my old friends,the mess food was horrifying,and washing my own clothes was a pain in the butt. After every semester exam,I couldn't wait to get the hell out of this place and go home.But this time was different.Sure,I was excited about going home,but I also felt kinda bad about leaving the place that has given me so much,taught me to be self reliant,make my own decisions......I have learned to be assertive,learned to say no,learnt that not everyone who talks sweet,means well.....learnt to deal with crisis,big or small,learnt that mom isn't gonna be there every time to save my butt when i get into trouble,learnt that Maggi can be a real life-saver in adverse times and Mc Donald's is the best place to be when you are almost broke.........

I know I'll be back in 15 days,complaining about the mess food,and the injustice of having to wash my own clothes......but by Joe,I'll sure miss this place....!!

Its time for my friend to leave.We load her luggage into the waiting taxi,which will take her to the city railway station and I see her off at the gate with a few tears,and a warm hug.....I don't feel too bad anymore,now that i have figured it out.I go back inside.I'm leaving tomorrow,I need to pack.

nothing beats the first blog!!

Finally.....after months of procrastinating,i finally create a blog account...!!

Its a great feeling really....my very first blog. I haven't got a clue how to go about things,but as cliched as it may sound,writing is like breathing to me........so no more "dear diary" moments.....i mean,who needs a few pages in a book,when the world (wide web) can be your oyster...!!